Desire
by Darlingplease
Summary: Spoilers for Torment.  After Luce lets Miles kiss her, she has some questions for Daniel. She's just hoping he'll stick around long enough to give her a straight answer. Sexuality.


Do not own.

Summary: After Luce lets Miles kiss her, she has some questions for Daniel. She's just hoping he'll stick around long enough to give her an answer. (spoilers and sexuality)

_Desire_

Luce knew that she wasn't supposed to go outside.

She knew that her dark thoughts would summon the Announcers. She knew that Frankie would be on her so fast that it would make her head spin.

On the other hand, she knew that Daniel was mad at her. She thought back to the look on his face after he had witnessed Miles kissing her. That agonized look; like he hadn't ever felt anything for anyone else in the seventeen years between Luce's appearances, like he hadn't done whatever he did with Shelby.

Maybe he wasn't so much mad as betrayed.

With a scowl, Luce pushed a heavy wool sweater over her dyed blonde head. She knew she wasn't supposed to go outside, but she really didn't care right now. If an Outcast shot her dead with one of those ridiculous blunt-tipped arrows, she might even call it a blessing.

"Betrayed," she spat the word as she climbed out her dorm's open window into the cool night air.

Daniel wasn't the only one that could feel betrayed. Luce's whole life had been spun into this giant romantic, _depressing_ fairy tale in which she continually burst into a volcanic, writhing column of fire. How sweet. Yeah, right.

You would think that the absolute least Daniel could do after she had died again and again and again because of him would be to wait for her to come back.

_It was only one night_, Shelby had said. Yes, well, one night included about twelve hours in which there was plenty of time for plenty of things to happen.

Luce pushed her forehead against the cold brick as she shimmied across the ledge. _Stop it,_ she thought, _just stop it._ This thing inside of her, this wicked, poisonous thought process, was torment. It was too much.

She just wanted a few moments of blessed numbness.

Willing the vertigo away, Luce leaned back to look for some footholds. Keeping herself from falling and breaking her neck was going to take a little bit of care and diligence tonight. Resting her foot against a brick that stuck out from the rest, she lowered herself from the ledge. The corners of the brick blocks bit into her palms and her arms shook under her weight as she lowered herself down.

Hanging there, her feet searched for more footholds below her dangling body. She crept down slowly, the shadow of the redwoods looming at her back and the ocean waves breaking to her right.

When there was only ten feet left below her, the footholds all but disappeared. Stretching out her body, she reached out further with her feet but still found no notch in the wall.

"What a great idea," Luce mumbled to herself. She twisted her head around to see if there was any chance that she _wouldn't_ break her leg if she let go and fell a distance twice her height.

It was dark outside, too dark to see anything besides the scraggly shrubs below her. She hoped they weren't the sharp, prickly kind, because she was going to have to jump. She wasn't going to climb that whole way back up, that was for sure.

Closing her eyes, Luce leapt. Her heart pounded and adrenaline rushed into her system. This wasn't like when Daniel had dropped her that night at the beach. It was worse, because she knew that she was going to hit the ground this time, and that Daniel wasn't here to catch her.

Her legs landed in the bush, her upper half colliding with the ground. A sharp pain in her ankle made her groan. Looking back, she discovered her foot was trapped between two sharp branches. It was twisted at an angle that wasn't unnatural, but still looked (and felt) painful.

Extricating her tangled lower half with a sigh, Luce half-limped toward the beach. She was surprised that Steven and Frankie hadn't been there waiting for her at the bottom of the building, patiently watching her make an idiot of herself only to snatch her up and redeposit her back into her jail cell of a dorm.

She was incredibly thankful that they hadn't been, though. She desperately needed this time alone in the cold, coastal air.

The sand was shifty and soft beneath her feet, bare now that she had left her shoes at the edge of the beach.

Luce settled into a lumpy patch of the cold grit, wrapping her arms around her knees. The sound of the waves was hypnotic to her. The stars above were just as iridescent as Daniel's wings.

Here, in the silence and absence of others, only here could she untangle the tight knot of _yes, but_'s that had filled up her head.

Yes, Daniel was her soul mate, but how could she be his if there were girls between each Lucinda?

One brief moment of Lucinda, two long moments of Carlotta. One tiny glimpse of Lucy, a wide open view of Maureen. An uncertain, unknowing piece of Luce, a night of knowing Shelby.

A kiss with Trevor, a column of combustion. A kiss with Miles, an eternal guilt trip.

If this was how it had been and would be for all of eternity, Luce almost didn't feel bad for letting Miles kiss her. Almost.

It was Daniel's face that had done it, though. That look that made it seem like he really hadn't ever felt anything for anyone else.

_I may be married, but I'm not dead!_ Luce scoffed at the saying. Yes, Daniel may be her soul mate, but she only came around every seventeen years. They meant virtually the same thing.

And in a way, Luce didn't even blame him.

Maybe if he left her alone next time around, she might have a chance at a normal life.

But, then, he had tried to leave her alone, hadn't he? He had tried his damndest, but she kept pushing, kept digging. This was her fault. This whole thing was her fault. And she just kept doing stupid things.

Condemned for all eternity to die a virgin—

-wait. Had she?

What a silly question. Of course she had. If Daniel so much as touched her in any of her past lives she practically blew up.

But he did say that they could do more in some lives than in others. This seemed like a 'more' kind of life rather than an 'other.'

All of this soul searching had dredged up the whooshing static noise of Announcers circling her. She could feel their damp, mushy body parts poking at her, soaking through her thick clothes and chilling her to the bone.

"Go away," Luce moaned quietly, more to herself than to the swirling shadows that surrounded her.

They didn't go away. Their slimy, sickly hands pulled at her sweater and pinched her thighs. She turned on them.

"Go! Away!" she yelled, her voice seeming way too loud in the dead silence of the scenic ocean-side. She swung at them, knocking a few away while the others skittered back among the redwoods nervously.

Enough was just enough. She didn't want to see her past selves burst into flame right now.

"I don't want you!" She called to them, frustration spurring her. She raced after them as they melted into the shadows of the forest. "Everyone just leave me alone!"

Enough was probably too much.

"Your thoughts must be pretty heavy to attract that kind of attention."

The voice behind her, though soft, was unexpected to the point of being terrifying.

"Daniel," Luce gasped. The iridescence of his fully extended wings should have given him away, but she had been preoccupied.

"If I had been an Outcast, you would be dead, Luce." The sternness in his voice was simply a mask that hid away his fear, his worry. "Why can't you just stay inside like I asked?"

Luce knew this, but his sharpness still brought tears to her eyes. Here she was, an open target, making more mistakes. She thought of going to him, of hiding her tears against his chest and pretending like everything was fine if only to avoid yet another argument.

Instead, she was paralyzed. The dampness in her eyes spilled across her cheeks. "Daniel," was all she could think to say. It wasn't his name. It was a plea.

His eyes, vibrantly violet, filled with worry for her. His warm arms were around her in a second, his lips against her forehead. "I'm sorry, Luce. Are you okay?"

She was silent for a moment, sniffled daintily, and said quietly, "I don't know."

Daniel pulled back to look at her, really look at her. "Luce, if this is about Miles—"

"It's not!" What she meant was _No, I could never choose anyone over you_ or even _I'm sorry, it was an accident_, but instead she made it sound like she didn't regret what had happened at all. But she did, she really did now that he was in front of her, his violet eyes burning intensely in their love for her. "I mean, yes, it is. But not how you think."

Daniel pursed his lips, his features tightening up. He made move to pull away from her, but Luce held fast.

She meant to say something about how he was the only one for her, or that with their history, how could he even question? What came out of her mouth was, "Can we do it?"

An awkward expression crossed Daniel's gorgeous face. "Do what?" he stuttered.

Luce felt her face flush, and she knew that she must have been bright red. She hoped that he couldn't see her color past the dim light.

"Um," she hesitated, but it was too late to take the question back. "_It_?"

The face Daniel made. Oh. God. Luce didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was an expression that was an equal mix of horror and desire.

"Luce!—"

"I mean, have we before? Done anything like that?" she rectified quickly.

Daniel stuttered monosyllables for a moment as he tried to think of the right thing to say. "No," he answered slowly, darkly.

_Of course they hadn't_, Daniel thought. _Not when she was devoured by fire every time he pressed his lips to any part of her face._ The thought of Miles' lanky teenage body against Luce's supple curves filled his head, the Nephilim boy's fibrous muscles pumping against her yielding flesh.

That was his. That part of her would never be anyone else's.

Luce saw the desire in his violet eyes. She saw the urge to claim her for real this time after thousands of years of foreplay.

And all of a sudden, she wanted it too. She really wanted it.

She pushed her body against his tentatively, ghosting her mouth against his jaw.

"Luce," he objected again, gently rejecting her advances. "If we go too far—"

"Daniel," she reasoned, "If we can't go that far now, what makes you think we ever could? You said it yourself, this time is different. Please, just take it, before I die again."

Daniel's bright, plush wings vibrated as they always seemed to do whenever he was upset. "Don't say that," he whispered, holding her against him.

She hadn't meant it to sound as callous as she was sure it had.

"Please?" she mumbled against his strong chest.

There was a pregnant silence between the two.

"It's too dangerous here."

Luce's spirits began to fall, but then—Ah!

There was a 'here' tacked onto the end of that sentence. That meant that he was actually giving the idea some thought.

In an effort to coax him, she dipped her small hands into the fluff at the base of his wings. They trembled and stretched a bit, and Daniel relinquished a small groan.

Then her mouth was lost to his. A fire ignited low in her belly as his hands, warm compared to the outside air, coasted across the heated flesh of her hips. Goosebumps rose along her midsection, bringing a tiny smile to Daniel's face.

Luce suddenly found her back against that same volcanic rock the two had hid behind only a few days ago. His hands were under her clothes, reaching higher, letting the cold in closer and the heat even deeper.

Daniel's lips crept almost shyly against Luce's neck. When she scoured up the bravery to reach out and touch him, she ran her fingers across his abs and down, down until she ghosted over the erection he had been desperately trying to keep away from her.

Luce gasped, having never witnessed anything like that before, and definitely not knowing what to do with it. Daniel groaned, long and loud and almost violently before saying, "We can't do this."

But she had no idea how bad he wanted to. God only knew how long he had been waiting to do unspeakable things to her. At this point, it was something he couldn't even afford to ponder. Here, in this moment, with the chance all too possible, he was becoming more than nervous.

If he made a wrong move, touched her too harshly or called her name too loudly, would that alert Heaven to their bliss and bring the moment to a fiery end?

"I can't risk it, Luce," he almost begged. "I can't lose you. I don't know what I'd do—"

Her hazel eyes, the glowing of his wings bringing out the leaf-green in them, glanced against his own almost as sharply as a knife; full of conviction, full of accusation.

"I don't want to be anyone else's," she whispered against his parted lips.

It was true. She didn't. She wanted to be Daniel's for another two thousand years, but only if it was this side of Daniel. The Daniel that she didn't have to question. She wanted to be the only one that ever fit so deeply within him. She wanted to dig a Luce shaped hole within him that no one else would ever be able to fill.

No more Carlotta's, no more Maureen's, and no more Shelby's. No more flames burning her to a crisp; only the one that grew in her belly at his touch.

Daniel looked over Luce's shoulder, past her, focusing on something in the distance.

"Oh, Lucinda," he moaned, tipping his head back and screwing his violet eyes shut.

_It was worth a thoroughly embarrassing try_, Luce thought, and she made move to trudge to the beach edge and retrieve her shoes, then maybe scamper back to her dorm in shame.

Daniel's hands gripped the edge of her sweater and ripped it over her head in a very not gentle manner. Luce gasped. His face bunched up in frustration as he took in the tank top she had on beneath. She giggled as he tore that over her head too.

He mumbled something about losing his nerve.

A bolt of excitement cascaded through Luce, like a bucket of cold water in the already chilly air. A bout of shyness and trepidation followed.

She stood in the glowing darkness, barefoot, in jeans and a white pushup bra.

This was seriously going to happen. Luce was going to lose her virginity. To Daniel Grigori. Her soul mate. She was so nervous that she thought she might be sick to her stomach.

Daniel gave a lopsided half-grin. "Don't be nervous," he cooed, stroking her belly softly. What a hypocrite he was; he himself was beyond nervous, and knew she had to be too.

He pushed her against the rock again, his mouth enveloping her own. His hands crept cautiously up her ribcage, stopping to press his thumbs against the underwire of her bra. His mouth was against her neck as his hands swept to her back, undoing the hook there in one deft movement.

Slowly, as if asking for permission, Daniel edged the thin material away from Luce's shivering body. The straps fell away from her arms and the bra dropped to the sand silently. Cold air assaulted Luce, perking her in places she was happy to be perked.

Daniel's wings folded around them, his twenty foot wing span more than enough to close out the rest of the world. Their iridescence also brought light to her body, something that he wouldn't for the whole world miss out on seeing.

Luce tugged at his baby blue dress shirt. "Mm," she whined.

He complied. He fiddled with the buttons there for a moment. His fingers were shaking. Frustrated, he pulled his wings back so quickly and loudly that Luce startled. Chuckling at her response, he ripped the shirt from his body. It lay in tatters on the sandy ground. His wings flexed around her again.

Her icy fingers swept down his chiseled chest like satin. His own hands whispered against her abdomen. Feeling his eyes on her, his desire to touch what he'd never had a chance to touch, she arched her back and stuck her chest out for him.

He got the point. His hands were the perfect fit for her breasts. His mouth met hers again, and he fell into her body.

His hips finally met hers. It was the proverbial kiss of death when it came to trying to not have sex. There was no way they could stop now.

Luce's head spun. The feel of his hardness against her lower belly was almost too much, almost felt too good. He stole one of her legs from beneath her and pulled it over his hip, gaining a more suggestive angle.

Luce's moan was too loud, almost a cry of pain. His mouth left hers, and she was afraid he might stop, but he replaced it at her breastbone and kissed his way down to her left breast. His warm mouth engulfed her, and she shivered. She moaned for what felt to her like a whole sixty seconds, earning a small laugh from Daniel.

"Don't lau—" she complained distractedly, and then as he switched to the other breast, "—ohh."

His hands went to the button of her jeans. He pushed them down and she kicked her legs out. Her hands went to the clasp at his dress slacks and she helped him out of them. His wings adjusted to keep his balance as he pulled each leg out.

Daniel kissed Luce, softly this time. His thumbs slid beneath the band of her underwear as he tentatively pushed them down. Her face was gaining color.

"Luce?" Daniel asked. "Are you sure?"

Each met the other's eyes, Luce's bright with emotion and Daniel's dark with worry and lust. "I've never been more sure," she told him.

Luce's underwear was lost to the growing pile of clothes scattered across the sand. She dipped her fingers under the band of Daniel's grey boxers, tugging them down and over his erection then adding them to the pile.

Luce hesitated. Daniel read her hesitation.

A thumb stroked her core and Luce lost herself. Without even knowing what she was doing, she reached out and gripped Daniel's hardness. He gasped. His finger dipped into her warmth, slid in and came out dripping.

Luce nearly screamed her approval.

He couldn't control himself anymore. Daniel was utterly out of control. This was it. After so many years. So many endless deaths. And this was it. And he would be condemned for beyond all eternity for this.

He pulled Luce's leg snug around his hip again. His erection sat just beneath where she so desperately needed it to go, and she writhed against him.

"We shouldn't do this," he told her again. Her only answer was a guttural moan.

Luce couldn't think. She was lost. Lost to Daniel's heavenly, glowing beauty. Lost to this moment that she thought would never come. Lost to the swelling of her crushed lips, the warm glow of his feathers surrounding her, the ache in her groin that felt like it ought to be insatiable.

Only he could fill it. Only Daniel.

"It's going to hurt you," he whispered to her.

Luce nodded. She felt like it should hurt, like if it didn't then all the buildup was for nothing.

She felt his tip pressed against her. He pushed in painfully slow, but only a little bit.

"Luce?" he whispered.

"Uhn?"

"I'm sorry."

With that last apology, Daniel buried himself in Luce with one quick thrust.

Luce bit her scream back into Daniel's bare shoulder. It was a quick pain deep inside her body; an ache that made her whole body tense and close in on itself.

Daniel littered kisses along her face, jaw and neck. Only when his lips left trails of wetness on her skin did she realize that tears had come unbidden. Luce clung to Daniel, and Daniel to Luce.

"Lucinda," he groaned against her neck, trying to stay as still as possible. "I love you so much. Are you okay? Do you feel hot?"

She laughed sanguinely at his worry. She felt fine. Better than fine. She felt complete.

"Luce?" he repeated, almost panicked this time.

"I'm fine," she told him, and then she felt the wet warmth flowing down her chest. She didn't understand at first, and then when his body heaved subtly, she finally did.

Daniel was crying.

"Daniel?" She tried to separate from him so that she could see his face.

"I'm scared," he conceded, pulling his face from the crook of her neck. "If you die, you won't come back this time."

Luce simply stared at him.

Would she be okay with dying tonight? Would she be okay with this moment with Daniel being her last? No, truthfully, not completely. She still hadn't talked to Callie or even her parents, really. There were things that she had to say and do, and Luce wasn't the kind of girl to leave her business unfinished like that. But she also couldn't bring herself to separate from the love of her life in this moment either.

If she was blown into oblivion for good this time, then Luce didn't see how it would matter anyways.

_How do you choose between your parents and friends and the person you're meant to be with for all of eternity?_ Luce wondered. She certainly couldn't. She loved all of them, but they were different kinds of love.

It would matter. It would matter to her mom and dad, like it mattered to Vera and that nice older couple. It would matter to Callie and to Miles and Arriane, like Penn had mattered to Luce. Most of all, it would matter to Daniel. Luce couldn't imagine what she would do if Daniel were ever taken from the world, never to return.

So, yes, she was okay with this. She was okay with this display of love that was only ever meant for her and Daniel. She was okay because she had won this small victory in a thousand lifetimes of struggles.

"Then I'll die blissfully," she told him, kissing his nose.

He pulled out and pushed back into her.

A cry fell from her lips, urging him on. They fell into an awkward rhythm as Luce tried to gain more leverage against the rock.

Daniel fell to his knees, Luce sliding down the wall with him. He tilted her hips up, angling towards what he hoped would be a sweet spot within her. When she let loose a long, high pitched whine, he knew that he had found what he wanted to.

Luce felt a warmth spread through the bottom of her belly. She didn't have the words in her vocabulary to express the feeling. It was nothing short of Heaven. It was better. It was raw and left her panting, spreading her legs wider to take more of him in, grunting with pleasure and not caring how silly she probably sounded.

Pressing against her, Daniel buried one hand in her bleached blonde hair, giving it a firm tug, and pressed the thumb of his other hand against her sweet spot.

And Luce was tumbling over the edge faster than she ever expected. Orgasm hit her like a train. She twitched, her insides clamping down. She was all but wailing her relief.

Daniel's wings were quivering again. The desperate gasping noises he was making prolonged her ending, letting her know he was close too.

With one final thrust and a growl that rumbled through both of them, Daniel came. His wings stretched out behind him, twitching and jerking uncontrollably as Luce had just a moment ago. They flapped a few times, the wind they created making Luce shiver.

They both heaved in lungfulls of air. Daniel pulled Luce closer to him, flipping them over so that she lay against his chest.

"I love you, Luce. So much," he told her, kissing her forehead. "If I lost you for good, I would die."

"But I'm okay," she said. "Nothing happened. You don't have to worry."

"Well," said an amused voice from above them, "that was interesting."

Luce would know those glowing green eyes anywhere.

"Cam." Luce scrambled back, away from both the angels, grabbing whatever bits of clothing she could find to cover herself.

"I don't know if interesting is the right word," Cam said. He was perched at the tip of the volcanic rock behind them, flashing a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin.

Daniel was up in a flash, using his wings to shield Luce's nude body from the demon's view.

Cam simply laughed. "All favors have a price. Ironically enough, Ms. Price's little show was her price."

And suddenly, it all clicked into place for Luce. That moment in which Daniel had looked over her shoulder, seen something in the forest, the same moment that he had given in to her wishes. He had seen Cam.

Daniel never would have conceded if he thought that Luce was unguarded for even one second. Being vulnerable like that, in the throes of passion, was something he couldn't ever afford. Cam happening along was simply convenience.

Except Daniel had expected perhaps a little bit of privacy. That was what he got for expecting decency out of a less than decent being.

But Luce, having already gotten dressed, pushed past Daniel.

"I cannot believe you! Get down from there, you—you jerk!" Luce scoured the sand for the nearest object and tossed it at Cam's head.

Unfortunately, it was her bra, which Cam caught without a second thought. "Lucinda! One time and you're already throwing your underclothes at me?"

Cam climbed down from the rock anyways. Daniel bristled at Cam, but Luce flared up at Daniel.

"And you _knew_ he was there?"

"Luce, please, you know I wouldn't just let him watch!" he said incredulously, his face twisting up with indignity.

Of course she knew that. It was silly to think that he would. But she was absolutely mortified. Cam had seen the _whole_ thing.

"I especially liked that part at the end where you where all _ohhh_," Cam taunted Luce with a wicked grin.

Luce's hand connected with his face in a loud slap. Cam didn't seem affected at all.

Daniel stepped forward, stretching out his humongous wings behind him in a territorial display. "Enough," he commanded.

But Luce was already halfway across the beach. "Go die, Cam. Please?" She called back to him.

"Sorry! Can't!" he called to her, a self-satisfied grin metastasizing across his face

Daniel walked briskly after Luce, pulling up his pants and hurrying to catch up and maybe explain himself.

"We should throw a themed party for you two!" Cam called louder so they both could hear him. He even gave a few resonating claps and a whistle.

Cam heard Daniel throw some agitated reply back at him.

As far as Luce was concerned, here they went again, same as always. Despite the passionate breakthrough, there would always be something to argue about. When one annoying detail was knocked down, another sprang up in its place.

Although the details from each lifetime changed, nothing really ever would. Not for Daniel and Luce. Not ever.


End file.
